What does it mean to be a leader? We’re not short on answers:
“Results-oriented. Someone who is honest and empathic; a hard worker. Leaders are trustworthy and courageous. They’re servant leaders. Level-five leaders. The best leaders are people leaders. They lead from the front. Leaders inspire. They’re purpose-driven. They practice radical candor. They have vision.”
We talk in nouns and adjectives that might mean the same thing to people within earshot. Or they might not.
We’re using the wrong parts of speech.
To be a leader is to lead. Leaders take action. They don’t noun or adjective. They sure don’t adverb. Leaders verb.
✅ Leaders say no to most ideas. They protect their teams and they protect their time and they live their priorities.
✅ Leaders let people know when they don’t know something or when they’re having a hard time emotionally.
✅ Leaders ask more questions than they provide answers or make proclamations.
✅ They check in on the person who didn’t get the job or the person who wasn’t herself at a meeting. They ask the how-are-you-doing question a few times in a few ways.
✅ Leaders remind people that their work matters. They go out of their way to catch people doing things right.
✅ Leaders give tough feedback. They don’t let the uncomfortable conversations age, and they don’t wrap that feedback in a praise sandwich.
✅ Leaders read books and watch videos and listen to podcasts. They follow their curiosity and commit to getting better.
✅ Leaders leave the office when they need to send a message that balance is important, and they stay to support the team who’s burning midnight oil.
✅ Leaders listen. They don’t just bide time while they wait to inject their opinion. They actively listen.
✅ Leaders acknowledge their culpability for a failure, and they deflect credit to teammates for a success.
✅ Leaders include. They lock eyes with the person in a meeting who’s reticent to speak. They ask for their perspective. Invite participation.
✅ Leaders go to the happy hour and the lunch and the funeral. They show up to welcome the newest team member and celebrate the one who’s retiring. They show up during the brightest and darkest of times.
✅ Leaders ask about kids and parents and weekend plans. They remember hopes and dreams and triumphs and tragedies.
✅ Leaders expedite the inevitable when things are not going to work out with a project or a team member or a client. When they do, they act with deep compassion.
✅ Sometimes leaders give orders, but mostly they breathe in stress and breathe out calm.
The best leaders do these things and a thousand other things. They do.
Leaders and leadership have nothing to do with title– many of the most impactful leaders have no formal authority. We should never confuse fancy descriptors with the real work of leading.
Leading is doing. Leading is falling down and getting up. It’s showing up and showing up and showing up. Leaders verb.