A year ago, I committed to a weekly LinkedIn post. I figured a deadline would serve as a forcing function for my writing. I didn’t know what form these posts would take, and I wondered what the point would be of adding my voice to an already noisy world.
In the midst of the pandemic, Adam Grant wrote a NYT article about that feeling of “meh” that so many of us had. Grant writes a lot of articles. He publishes books, hosts a podcast, and might be the most prolific psychologist on the planet.
His article about “Meh” caught more fire than anything he had written. A dozen people sent it to me, and it was all over my social media feeds. There wasn’t much in the way of prescription. He didn’t add some click-baity list of five things you can do. It wasn’t even Grant’s research.
But it resonated.
Grant was citing Corey Keyes‘ work on languishing, which so accurately captured the feeling of the moment. The article made us feel a little less alone. Gave us a language to describe this absence of well-being, which maybe gave us agency over that feeling.
Right now, too many people continue to languish. That’s part of living in a liminal space. We often feel disoriented and wonder why we’re not functioning at our highest level.
I heard Grant on a podcast reference a common saying of psychologists: “If you name it, you can tame it.” Maybe that’s what’s behind these posts. The idea that we’re not alone. That we can name what we’re going through so we can turn our attention to taming negative emotions.
It’s possible to thrive in spite of or maybe even because of this liminality. It’s within our power to stop running the race to more, better, faster, cheaper and start running the race to fulfillment. To stop drinking from the intelligence font when we’re thirsty for wisdom.
Keyes proposes the opposite of languishing isn’t happiness; it’s flourishing. To flourish, we need to consider psychological, emotional, and social health. And I’m convinced the road to progress, the road to flourishing, moves through the liminal. We just have to stop running the wrong race.
These posts have been a journey of discovery– my attempt to name that wrong race and propose one that fosters flourishing. Not sure I’ve figured much out. I’m probably just confused at a higher level. Which is a good thing.
I’ve learned more from the comments and reactions than the writing. I’ve met amazing people who have generously shared their wisdom (in the form of articles, questions, comments, and the like). Thanks to all who have been so kind with their time and insights. You have improved my psychological, emotional, and social health.
For now, I’ll persist.
