Business success can look so easy. Almost inevitable. Amazon and Netflix and Google were destined for greatness.
We see the end result, connect some dots along the way, and view the journey as relatively linear. Sure, there were hard times, but those obstacles became the way. We construct coherent narratives about the lessons learned that enabled startups to become dominant players.
Scott Belsky writes about this in “The Messy Middle.” Nine out of ten startups fail. In Belsky’s experience interviewing founders, the success recipe turns out to be far from linear. It’s always a story of twists and turns– resilience, anti-fragility, iterative learning, and grit.
Couldn’t we say the same about our childhood, our career, the parenting journey, our marriage, our search for purpose, and just about any aspect of our life?
We celebrate graduations and promotions and retirements. We catalogue our accomplishments on a resume, eulogize a life well lived. In all of those cases, we have the benefit of an ending that allows us to construct the coherent narrative.
When we’re living life, though, we have no such luxury. We are forever in the messy middle, dealing with ups and downs, not always sure which is which. There’s a natural uncertainty to everything we do. That can be a source of considerable anxiety. We can be paralyzed with fear of taking a wrong step. We can bemoan others’ success. It can lead to depression.
Life gets better when we shed the notion that we’re supposed to follow some linear path. We are forever in the messy middle. Knowing that doesn’t make it less messy, but it allows us to manage expectations, lean into the uncertainty, and find joy in the journey.
My hope is that more people embrace the messy middle. After all, there’s not another choice.
