Can we end the “work/ life balance” debate?
It’s based on a faulty premise. Who decided “work” was the opposite of “life,” and why have we given this false dichotomy so much oxygen?
Don’t get me wrong. I understand that work can be soul-sucking, but it doesn’t have to be. And it shouldn’t be. Work can be a place where you find purpose and connect with those around you, and work can be a vehicle that helps you achieve your dreams. Work is not always easy; there’s tension and adversity, but there’s also joy in pressing through that adversity and accomplishing something of substance with people you care about.
If that’s not “life,” I don’t know what is.
Language matters. When we put work in opposition to life, we’re priming people to not like work. We’re signaling to them that something’s wrong with searching for fulfillment through their job. We’re letting them know that, for so many hours a day, they’ll be trading time for money so that they can really live when they go home.
I reject that premise.
Going a step further, work can be more “life” than what the work/life balance advocates count as “life.” As a society, we’ve given ourselves over to an attention economy; too often when we leave work, we’re spending huge chunks of time staring into a black rectangle. We’re doom-scrolling or binge-watching or swiping right for hours while the social media giants monetize our eyeballs, and the powers that be tap into our outrage.
That’s “life?” Watching old episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” while scrolling on our phone reading articles about the opposing political party as dress shoes we almost bought keep showing up in our feed?
Quite the contrary. It’s killing us. It’s literally killing us.
Loneliness and isolation increase a person’s odds of having a heart attack by 29% and a stroke by 32%. We’re lonelier than ever. One in seven men and one in ten women say they have no friends. People entering the workforce have never been more anxious or more depressed. And here we go telling them to trade time for money so they can… what?… go home to look at their friends’ carefully curated lives on Instagram and feel “less than?”
We should demand more from our work lives. If we’re not finding purpose, if we’re not feeling like a part of something bigger than ourselves, the answer isn’t to “find more work/life balance.” It’s to find more meaning in our work. It’s to recognize that work is a place where we can build social connections, find dignity, develop mastery, and get paid all at the same time.
Instead of asking, Am I finding enough work/ life balance? Let’s ask, Am I finding meaning in what I get to do every day? Am I fully alive at work? Can I be me? Is my voice heard? Do I care about the people around me? Do I make a difference?
Work is a critical part of our lives; we should demand that it’s a place where we feel truly alive.
